Into the Rush
by alienangel19852003
Summary: Full summary inside, general warnings: dark themes, drug use, mm slash incest, ff mild, self mutalation, and abuse. UC Pairings :Lathan, Panna, Brake, Helix. Sorry i'm not a conventional chick. It's a good read depspite the pairings i swear.
1. Rush

Title: Into the Rush

Rating: M

Author: alienangel19852003

Fandom: OTH

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I prolly never will. I do not own the lyrics to Rush either.

Dedication: To both of the Bretts in my life I can't wait to you deliver those packages to me.

Author's Note: AU season two. Haley and Lucas are best friends. Deb is dead Nathan lives with Dan. Nathan and Haley never married never dated. Nathan and Lucas are friends. Nicki does not exist. Anna and Felix are Brooke's next door neighbors. Some incest and slash. Some dark themes.

Summary: Haley James is beautiful, bright and talented, but extremely shy will she be able see through the smooth talking Latin pretty boy? Lucas Scott is brilliant, reserved, and let's face it a future NBA superstar but he has to overcome an injury. Nathan Scott is cocky, strong, and a rising basketball star in his own right, but he lives under the thumb of an abusive father and has a secret hidden behind his blue eyes. Brooke Davis is pretty, rich, and popular, but no one knows the real her not even her best friend. Peyton Sawyer, is intelligent, artistic, and she has killer legs, but her growing coke addiction could derail her future.

Prologue

_Into your head, into your mind  
out of your soul, race through your veins  
You can escape, you can escape.  
_

Haley James loved singing and dancing around the café after closing while she cleaned, and this was the perfect song. She wished she could escape literally, her home life was crumbling her parents were still going strong as strong as they could when her mother spent every waking moment in the bottle. And Haley's older sister Taylor was living at home again and coming in at three drunk and sick and of course Haley took care of her instead of studying for exams.

The things Haley treasured the most were the relationships she'd formed outside of her immediate family. Karen Rowe had been a mom to her as long as she could remember. And Karen's son Lucas was a big brother that didn't stuff Haley in the hamper. Peyton Sawyer and Broke Davis had even become fixtures in her life. She definitely didn't see that coming.

_  
Into your life, into your dreams,  
Out of the dark, so light again.  
You can exclaim, you can exclaim.  
_

It was Friday night closing time at the café and she was sweeping up singing unaware of her audience. She whirled around mid verse to see a tall gorgeous Latin man standing in the doorway.

"Oh God…" Haley said blushing and running a hand through her honey colored hair.

"We… we're closed," she stuttered.

The stranger smiled revealing perfect white teeth against beautiful tanned skin.

"It's a shame I was hungry,"

Haley blushed there was something about the way he said it that made her think she might have been on the menu. When she finally managed to compose herself she asked, "Are you new here? I haven't seen you around?"

"Yeah we just moved. I'm going to be starting Tree Hill High tomorrow, my name is Felix Taverez " he said.

"I'm Tutor Girl…" Haley blurted and then immediately wanted to die.

"I mean I'm Haley, Haley James."

"It's nice to meet you Haley Tutor Girl James." Felix said and then he was gone.

_Can You feel it, can you feel it,  
Rushin' through your hair,  
Rushin' through your head,  
Can you feel it, can you feel it,  
_

Lucas Scott stood front and center on the river court shooting and missing his seventieth consecutive free throw.

"I could swear you're getting worse."

Lucas turned to see his younger brother step out of the shadows this time sporting a new bruise under his eye.

"Nathan…" Lucas said dropping the ball and walking over to his brother.

"Just another present from Daddy Dearest."

"We have to tell someone we can tell my mom." Lucas said.

"No. You are not getting mixed up with him. He's my problem." Nathan stated firmly.

Something seemed to swirl in the air between the two brothers, Lucas had no idea what it was he'd felt it before. Nathan was trying to protect him from Dan and Lucas thought it was sweet. He couldn't think Nathan was sweet, there was something wrong with that. And something very wrong with the way he and his brother were looking at each other.

_Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,  
Be every color that you are,  
Into the rush now,  
You don't have to know how,  
Know it all before you'll try.  
_

"Let me help you." Lucas said.

"You can't he said he would…"

"Would what Nathan?" Lucas asked.

"Never mind. Let's play some ball." Nathan said.

"No. We are not avoiding the subject tell me what that bastard did to you or I'm going to tell Coach Whitey and Keith what's been going on. And they will believe me." Lucas said putting a hand on Nathan's shoulder holding him into place.

_  
More than you land spinning around,  
Lifting your feet right off the ground,  
You can't believe this is happening now._

Nathan looked angry for a second before his resolve broke. And he let out a choked sob.

"He was going to tell everyone, that I'm gay."

"What?" Lucas asked instinctively pulling his hand away.

"I'm GAY Luke." Nathan screamed.

"Gay like gay happy or gay like you like men?" Lucas asked.

"I knew you wouldn't understand." Nathan started to walk away.

"No I don't understand but I'm not turning my back on you."

"No but your looking at me like I'm some kind of freak."

"You've always been some kind of freak as long as I could remember. The gay thing doesn't change that." Lucas said.

"Funny. I'm having a personal crisis and you tell me I'm a freak." Nathan said.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?"

"Anything." Nathan stood still his back turned to Lucas.

Lucas walked around him and stared for a moment, "Kiss me."

"What?"

"I asked you to do something for me and you said anything, and I said kiss me." Lucas said.

"Lucas, we're brothers. We can't."

"Tell me you're not attracted to me. I've always wondered what this was that I felt around you it's similar to what I felt around Peyton, sexual tension."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No and I can prove it." Lucas leaned across the small space and kissed Nathan's lips.

It was a quick kiss just a brush of his lips to Nathan's and he pulled back.

"You kissed me."

Lucas nodded. He watched his brother for a second confusion flickered across his beautiful chiseled features before he sighed and then leaned forward kissing Lucas. This kiss was much different from the first one.

_  
Can You feel it, can you feel it,  
Rushin' through your hair,  
Rushin' through your head,  
Can you feel it, can you feel it, _

Don't let nobody tell you, your life is over,


	2. Somebody Else's Life

Disclaimer: These lyrics belong to the talented Mr. Jason Wade of Lifehouse.

Part 2

Somebody else's life

For the whole of her life Brooke Davis has been thrust out on to a pedestal by her peers she had always been the prettiest and she'd always had the keenest fashion sense it was only natural that she damn near ruled Tree Hill High. Her life wasn't perfect nor was it easy, she had to be someone, to be the person she thought people wanted to see. She had every thing she could ever possibly hope fore looks, money, friends, and popularity something most people would kill for. But she was living someone else's life. It was all pretend no one really knew the real her she didn't even know the real her.

_Can't change this feeling  
I'm way out of touch  
can't change this meaning  
it means too much  
never been this lonely  
never felt so good  
can't be the only one misunderstood  
I remind myself of somebody else  
feeling like I'm chasing  
like I'm facing myself alone_

Brooke had stayed late at yet another cheerleading practice. She loved to dance but she hated the hokeyness of cheerleading itself at times. Peyton didn't show and she had to rework the routine they were doing. It wasn't pleasant. Teresa kept missing steps and the other girls were wining too much about the whole routine.

She stomped out to her car wondering what her life was missing, she wasn't happy and she knew that it had to do with Lucas, she didn't want him anymore. Just that kind of relationship but she was much to jaded to go there. She couldn't get emotionally invested in anything, a fuck buddy was about all she could deal with at this particular point in her life. She knew she wanted to be with someone like she had been with Lucas, but she didn't think anyone would measure up and she would hate finding out that it was a lie all over again.

_I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head  
I want some of my own  
I want some of my own  
I want some of my own_

She had come to the conclusion that until she found out what worked for her she would just take a break from the serious dating scene. She had read some lame self help books over the summer and decided until she followed her heart and not the trends she would be a much happier Brooke.

The Autumn air was chilly and she pulled her thin denim jacket over her barely covered body clad in only a white sports bra and work out pants not the perfect gear for fifty five degree weather.

"Brooke!" she heard a male voice call out to her.

She instinctively gripped her keys in between her knuckles if whoever it was got feisty she could return the favor and make him wish he hadn't decided to attack Brooke Davis. She whirled around to face her "attacker" who turned out to be Jake Jageliski.

"Shit. Jake you nearly scared me to death, you should really get a bell around your neck so you won't go around at night freaking people out." She said.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't stop thinking about you." He said.

She smiled the tale tale dimple coming through, she couldn't be less interested in the basketball player but he was cute and one of the best when it came to sex. Finding herself would come later, right after she did.

_Can you see me up here?  
Would you bring me back down?  
Cause I've been living to see my  
Fears as they fall to the ground  
I remind myself of somebody else  
Feeling like I'm chasing  
Like I'm facing myself alone_

* * *

Peyton Sawyer was a numb pale reflection of her former self and no one really noticed. Not Brooke, not Haley, not Lucas and most certainly not Nathan. And that was exactly the was she wanted it except it hurt that they didn't even care. 

She lay there in bed for a while after Rick had left staring at the small canister of coke. All of her credit cards were maxed out she had nothing in the bank she had resorted to exchanging sex for drugs. She hated having him on top of her she hated sinking to this new low but she had to admit it was quite clever actually and a lot more cheap, she could have laughed at the innuendo. Brooke would really love that one. She doubted she'd tell her. She hadn't seen Brooke since Thursday of last week and it was now Wednesday.

_I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head  
I want some of my own  
I want some of my own  
i want some of my own _

If anyone saw her now they would ship her off to the first rehab clinic they could find. Her hair was matted she was gross looking she hadn't slept, ate, or showered since around the time she'd saw Brooke and she'd spent the past forty minutes earning her fix.And she really needed it. She hadn't had any since that day at school when she'd discovered that most everyone thought she was a dyke even Brooke. Lucas was ignoring her. And Haley kept going about some guy named Felix and she just couldn't deal. She had been trying to get a hold of Rick and couldn't.

She was surprised she hadn't gotten up already she got out of bed allowing the covers to fall away from her lithe pale form and she emptied the contents of the canister to make a few lines. She smiled to herself in doing so she was going to go to world where she didn't care what people thought about her or about the fact that she was alone.

_Am I hiding behind my doubts?  
Are they hiding behind me  
Closer to finding out  
it doesn't mean anything  
I remind myself of somebody else now_

She snorted two lines and looked up into her full length mirror, she was right she didn't look like a junkie. Make up streaked, bruises on her pale flesh, disheveled curls. Was this really her? Were her eyes that cold? Was she that thin? Had she taken things too far?

Her mind waged war with in her she knew she needed it just to stay sane just not to go completely crazy, but she knew that she was becoming dependent and cocaine was a hell of a habit to kick. She could lose everything, but then again what did she have. Her friends were off doing their own thing. Her dad was always working and her mom…

The mere thought of her mother made Peyton heave her mother had been a decent lady she would never consider doing what Peyton had done and was doing at the moment. One red light and took her away, Peyton ran them all the time, especially lately just hoping that one of them would take this wretched life away from her.

_I've got somebody else's thoughts in my head  
I want some of my own  
I want some of my own  
i want some of my own _


	3. Chapter One: Heavier Things

**A/N: Just a quick note this jumps from POV to POV but that what the bars are for.**

Chapter 1

"Luke, we need to talk." Nathan's voice came over the line.

Lucas sighed but didn't say anything.

"You've been avoiding me since that night… the night you kissed me." Nathan said.

Lucas knew Nathan was blushing even behind his ears, and he couldn't help but think how sexy he probably looked.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"It was a mistake. It can't happen again." Nathan said.

"You're right," Lucas felt like Nathan had managed to take all the air out of the room from way across town.

"I'm glad we agree." Nathan said hanging up.

Lucas could have sworn he heard Nathan's voice break a bit like he was crying.

Lucas hung up the phone and looked over at Haley who was wiping down the counter at the café.

"That sounded intense. Who was it? Peyton?" she asked.

"Nathan actually, Dan's being an asshole." Lucas lied easily he didn't realize how easy it was to tell such convincing lies.

"Really, what else is new? Is Nathan okay?" she asked.

Lucas smiled sweet caring Haley, he knew his mother secretly wanted them to get together, but it wasn't happening. Lucas wasn't willing to admit he was gay just yet. But he wasn't interested in pursuing girls at the moment, he was far too hung up on his brother of all people.

"What has been up with Peyton lately I hardly see her?" Lucas asked.

"Why don't we find out." Haley said taking off her apron and putting away the cleaning stuff.

* * *

Twenty minutes later they let themselves into Peyton's house. It didn't seem like anyone was home. Haley assumed Peyton was asleep, all the lights were out except the lamp in her bedroom that she never turned off and there was no music playing, but Lucas had a feeling. He wouldn't say what it was. Upon walking into Peyton's room they were greeted with an awful sight, their friend was sprawled out on the floor naked with a bloody nose. All Haley could do was stand there,trying to not to scream or puke all over Peyton's bedoom floorluckily Lucas wasn't glued to the floor he ran over and checked Peyton's pulse.

"Is she breathing?" Haley manage to squeak out tears welling up in her eyes.

"Barely. Haley call 911." Lucas told her.

With shaking hands she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her phone and dialed 911. Everything happened so fast her hysterical phone call to the ride to the hospital, she got to ride in the ambulance with Lucas and Peyton. They usually only allow one person to ride in the ambulance and Haley was in no shape to drive Lucas truck. And she didn't want to ride with the police, Lucas lobbied hard for the techs to let her. And they did. They didn't like Lucas' scary look any more than she did.

She knew he was just as shaken up as she was even more so.

Once they got to hospital Peyton was taken right into an ER. They were restricted to the waiting room.

"You need to call Brooke, I'm gonna call Nathan." Lucas stated with a blank expression on his face.

She nodded wiping her eyes and dialing Brooke.

* * *

Nathan Scott tried to do anything but stare at the phone, he wished Lucas would call back and say he still wanted him, and own up to fact that he was scared. He'd seen his brother do the exact same thing with every girl he'd been with. The defense mechanism, and this was an even harder situation.

He couldn't deal with it, he knew he was already too far in not to get hurt. The secret crush he harbored for his own brother had suddenly become a possibility at least until Lucas started avoiding him. The phone call to end things had merely been a test and Lucas didn't defend things and tell him that it wasn't a mistake.

Nathan had tried everything he could to take his mind off of Lucas he'd worked out, watched some of the Style channel which was supposedly appealing to gay men but he didn't think it was so hot. He played some Playstaion. He even played with his old karaoke machine singing a few bars of Bootylicious usually perked him up, but that didn't even seem to help.

So he gave up and resigned to lying in his bed thinking about Lucas and chunking a small basketball into the air. He lay there for two solid hours, his dad passed by poked his head in and berated him for some unknown reason and then slinked off to his mistress. Just as the mind numbing solitude was about to make him go mad his cell phone rang.

He heard the ringtone and nearly leapt a mile it was Lucas.

"Hello." He said trying to sound as neutral and unexcited as possible.

"Nathan," Lucas said.

Nathan became increasingly worried, it sounded like Lucas had been crying.

"Luke what's wrong?"

"It's Peyton, apparently she's been taking drugs cocaine in particular and tonight she overdosed she's in the ER right now. Me and Hales found her. She was unconscious." Lucas said in a rush.

"Oh God. I'm on my way." Nathan said grabbing his jacket and keys and running out of his bedroom.

* * *

"Yes, right there." Brooke purred in Jake's ear as his long questing fingers pushed aside her thong.

"Brooke, you're so sexy," Jake said nipping at her neck just as her cell phone rang loudly playing Hollaback girl for about the fifteenth time.

"Okay, Brooke that's kind of taking me out of the mood. You gonna answer that it has got to be an emergency they've been calling for the past twenty minutes almost non-stop." Jake said.

"Alright, it's Haley."

She said sitting up and hitting her head on the roof of her VW Bug.

"Fuck." She said into the phone.

"What a hell of way to answer the phone." Jake muttered.

She rolled her eyes, "Hey Tutor Girl what's up?"

"Brooke…you've got to get down here. It's Peyton, remember when she said she only did coke that one time? She's been doing it all this time behind our backs and now she's OD'd." Haley said quickly and slightly on the side of hysterical which meant Brooke was only able understand about half of it.

"Hales slow down what about Peyton?"

"She's in the hospital. She OD'd." Haley repeated.

Brooke wanted to cry for about half a second before hanging up and climbing into the front seat still only wearing her underwear.

"Brooke, what's going on?" Jake asked as Brooke cranked up the car.

"I'd hold on tight if I were you." She said swerving out of the school parking lot.

She drove eighty all the way to the hospital and made it a record three minutes. It took her awhile to register that she was only wearing a thong. So she quickly pulled on her pants and Jake's shirt and her denim jacket and ran into the hospital leaving a half dressed and completely confused Jake trailing behind.

Brooke found Haley and Lucas in the waiting room Lucas was yelling at a nurse and Haley was sitting on the bench staring at a spot on the floor, she looked up just as they entered the room. Haley got off the bench and launched herself at Brooke.

Brooke and Haley held each other, while Haley cried. Brooke knew Haley was feeling like this was all their fault for not telling someone about what Peyton was doing sooner. She knew this because she felt it too, she looked up to see the fear and anger on Lucas' handsome face as he started toward them.

"What did they say Luke?" Brooke asked.

"She's stable now and technically in a coma, she has a deviated septum so she must have been using for a while. I knew something was going on. Did you two know about this?" he asked.

Haley started her hysterical babbling, "That guy Rick from Tric said she'd done some lines with them before. She swore it was only the one time and we believed her."

"What? And you didn't tell me?"

"You can't fix everything Luke. You can't stop Nathan from getting hit and you can't save Peyton from herself just like you can't stop Taylor from ruining her life Haley. The only thing we can do is be there for them as cheesy as it sounds." Brooke said.

Lucas frowned but nodded in understanding, Brooke knew she was right, in the end if they all didn't self destruct they'd be lucky for survive adolescence sane themselves.

"Okay I'm so confused here." Jake said.

"Oh I 'm sorry Jake I forgot you were here. Can we pick up where we left off another time? I need to stay and see if my friend is okay." Brooke said.

"I'll call Skills and ask for a ride. He's prolly on the way to the river court anyways. I'm gonna shoot some hoops for a while. Call me if anything changes. I hope Peyton pulls through." Jake said.

"I'll call you. I hope she pulls through too." Brooke said.

Jake gave Brooke a quick hug and offered a small smile to the other two before leaving.

Haley shot her a knowing glance, "We're just friends." Brooke stated.

"Yeah right what were you doing when I called," Haley said.

"Nothing."

"We're probably going to be here all night. We'd better go find some caffeine and you need to stop pacing." Brooke said.

She was the picture of calm she had to be the other two were nervous wrecks, while inside she was so scared for Peyton. But she was right they couldn't fix Peyton's life Peyton was the onlyone who cold do that.

* * *

Lucas stood alone in the waiting room she knew Brooke had to be upset. Brooke was excellent a masking her feelings when she wanted to.She could turn her feellings off and on.She'd make a great soap star, in Lucas opinion but he didn't watch too much TV.

He was still pacing he couldn't help it he glanced up and toward the door just as Nathan ran in.

He stopped midway and they stared at each other for awhile, Lucas was tired of fear and indecision he wanted Nathan and Nathan wanted him there was nothing wrong with diving into this head first.

Before he knew it he was sprinting over and enveloping Nathan into a big hug and to his surprise Nathan hugged back.

"I don't think kissing you was a mistake, but not being together would be a big mistake. Deny thy father and refuse thy name." Lucas whispered in Nathan's ear causing Nathan to hold him tighter.

"I would deny Dan in a heartbeat," Nathan said.

"Me too,"

"How's Peyton doing?" Nathan asked breaking the embrace

"Better she still hasn't woken up yet; the doctors say she will soon though. But the tough part would be getting her to stop using."

"She has to want to stay clean." Nathan said.

"That's true, the next couple of weeks will be hard for all of us." Lucas said.

"I'll have you so it won't matter." Nathan said.

Lucas took his hand, he didn't care if they were in public or if anyone told Dan. He planned on telling their father himself as soon as he got Nathan out of that house. He knew Brooke was right but he couldn't stand idly by while his friends got hurt he _had_ to fix things.

"We're going to be here all night." Lucas said sitting in one of the hard hospital chairs.

Nathan sat beside him, "Looks like. That means we must find some way of entertaining ourselves."

* * *

Lucas gave him a tentative smile. Nathan knew that meant that he should back off.

"Or we could just sit here and I could like hold you," Nathan suggested.

"I would really like that." Lucas said.

Nathan put his arms around Lucas which was rather awkward simply because of the chairs Lucas felt right in his arms. Lucas buried his face in the crook of Nathan's shoulder and they both sighed at the same time.

Each breath gave Nathan goose bumps he wanted so badly to just…touch Lucas and kiss him. The nurses were already giving strange looks. Siblings held each other all the time. Just not the Scott brothers.

It wasn't long before Brooke and Haley came in.

Brooke opened her mouth to ask what was going on but Nathan stopped her.

"Not now Brooke." Nathan said the look in his eyes was enough to get the girls to back off.

They sat in silence for about an hour Haley slept on Brooke's lap while she played in her hair. Nathan dozed and Lucas had fallen asleep as well.

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews kind readers. I understand that this is incestual slash. Not exactly everyone's cup of tea, I know but there is another sub plot it's not going to focus solely on Lucas and Nathan smut or anything. However, there will be some chapters where I will give a warning about he content in the chapter so some readers can choose not to read if they don't go in for that sort of thing.


	4. Trying

Chapter 2

Lucas awoke when he felt hands on his shoulders, shaking him waking him, hands too small to be Nathan's. He looked up into honey brown eyes and the lovely oval face of his best friend Haley James.

"Hales? Did something happen? Is Peyton okay? Where's Nathan?" Lucas asked glancing around the empty waiting room.

"He went in with Brooke to see Peyton, she's awake. Your mom came by she heard the message you left on her voicemail and she was freaking out, Nathan took care of her. She had to go open the café she said she'd be back around lunch time." Haley explained.

Lucas suppressed a small smile at the thought of Nathan handling things with his mother, Karen Rowe could be a bit difficult at times if she thought someone she cared about was in trouble, and she cared a great deal for Peyton. Before she even began her tentative relationship with Peyton's father Larry Sawyer Lucas' mother had gotten to know Peyton.

"Oh okay, can I go see Peyton?" he asked.

Haley smiled and nodded, "No ranting or telling her how stupid this all is. We just need to be there for her, she feels bad enough that this all happened, anyways."

"Does she feel bad enough to quit? To stop using for good?" Lucas asked.

"I don't know Luke, it's her life her decision." Haley said darting her eyes away.

Lucas stood and stretched, and then they walked to Peyton's hospital room. Haley was quiet during the elevator ride, she seemed to be in deep thought so Lucas didn't say anything. He wondered if he was going to let things lie. He wasn't the type to ignore 1000 pound purple elephant in the room, but then he knew Peyton didn't need him tell her how to run her life right now.

If he would have just come by earlier and if Haley and Brooke wouldn't have kept it a secret from him he could have done something about it. The more he thought the angrier he got that, he didn't see the signs and that his friends didn't tell him. He took deep breaths and clenched and unclenched his fists before following Haley out of the elevator,

When he walked into the room he saw Brooke in bed with Peyton enthusiastically telling her some story or something, Nathan was leaning against the wall sipping coffee and watching them.

He had only seen Peyton look as frail as she did sitting in that bed the night before and he never wanted to see it again. She looked so small and her blonde curls looked oily like she hadn't washed her hair in days she had dark circles around her eyes and she was smiling a horrible fake smile that everyone in the room could see through, but they all went on pretending that she was okay. Lucas decided then that he had to say something.

"Lucas, hey." Peyton said swapping her fake smile for a real one.

"Hey, Peyton. You really gave us a scare." Lucas said.

"Lucas don't…" Haley started.

"If I don't then she'll just keep on doing it to herself, look in her eyes. She not gonna stop unless we do something." Lucas said.

They all looked at Peyton, Nathan knew Lucas was right, tears began to well up in Peyton's eyes she knew he was right too.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what else to–"

"You could have come to one of us, Peyton instead of killing yourself, you're better than this." Lucas said.

"No. I'm not!" Peyton shrieked tears falling freely now.

"Every since the first day I tried it I can't get enough I keep running back for more and more and now all my credit cards are maxed out my savings are drained, I have been selling myself to Rick for more coke. No Lucas I am not better than that. I don't know if I can stop, I don't even know if I want to, it's the only thing I have…"

* * *

Nathan was tired of her "poor me I'm a crack whore act".

"Oh come off the bullshit Peyton. You have us, and I know that it might seem like we are all moving in different directions now doesn't mean that you should go and do drugs cause you aren't getting any attention." Nathan said.

Peyton sobbed brokenly, "That isn't why I am doing this."

"Why are you doing this?" Haley asked.

"I–I–I don't know, it's an escape, none of you know what kind of hell I'm going through."

Nathan let out a bitter laugh, "The hell _you're_ going through? All of your pain is self inflicted; we all know you lost your mom. I lost mine too; at least you got to know yours before she died. So what your dad is working all the time it's better than having him knock you around all the time but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that,"

"Nathan, I-I-I."

"No Peyton, we aren't gonna hear anymore excuses. We can't fix this for you only you can but we'll be here for you, but we won't carry you. We have our own crosses to bear." Brooke said wiping tears from her face and getting up off the bed.

"Don't you think I would fix it if I could?" Lucas asked, "I would fix everything for everyone, but I don't have that kind of power." He sighed and walked from the room.

"All I'm gonna say is that I'm gonna be there to help you out but I'm not gonna try to be your hero or your protector and I'm sure as hell not gonna coddle you, and you guys shouldn't either." Nathan said before following his brother out of the room.

He found Lucas exactly where he expected to find him outside of the hospital brooding.

"Why does it all have to be so hard?" Lucas asked.

Nathan paused he wanted to give Lucas an honest and not so sarcastic response, "I honestly don't know Luke."

"I don't either, and there's nothing I can do."

"Maybe we're not supposed to know what to do." Nathan said.

Lucas just stared at him, "But I know what I want to do,"

Lucas looked at Nathan curiosity evident in his eyes, "What do you want to do?" he asked in barely a whisper.

"I want to kiss you," Nathan told him.

Lucas smirked, before seizing Nathan by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in for a mind blowing kiss.

* * *

Haley and Brooke left Peyton's room not long after Lucas and Nathan did. Peyton wouldn't stop crying and the nurse came in and asked them to leave just as Mr. Sawyer was on his way in so it was just as well they left.

Brooke had an appointment with her stylist but Haley was sure it was with Jake. She smiled to herself, as she went to find Lucas and let him know she was going to go home shower and make it to her second class. There was no way she would make the first it started in ten minutes.

She looked for Lucas and Nathan outside of the main exit and then she went around the side right off from the elevator in the little alley way where the nurses smoked, it was someplace seedy that she knew would attract Lucas.

She expected to find Lucas and Nathan outside together, but not _together_ kissing and groping up against a wall. Seeing them resting together made her wonder but seeing them kissing made her heart shatter into a million pieces. It was well guarded secret that Haley liked Lucas, she knew he had to know but he didn't think of her like that, or anything. She never expected that he was going around kissing his brother. Haley didn't know how it made her feel she just knew if she didn't leave right away the hospital might have to admit her as well.

She had never hurt like this she felt like she wanted to throw up and like some fat Japanese Sumo wrestler was sitting on her chest. She stumbled down the corridor of the hospital not really looking where she was going, so it was inevitable that she collide with someone, but what were the odds that that someone was Felix.

She hadn't talked to him since the week before, it was just glimpses in school and she couldn't exactly talk to him during classes.

"Haley," he said offering a stunning white smile and the movie star dimple in his right cheek the smile was soon gone when he saw her tears, "Are you alright?"

"Felix," Before Haley could answer an annoyed voice came from behind her, she turned to see a beautiful Latino girl about her age dressed as candy striper, she could only assume she was Felix's sister.

"Haley," Felix said smoothly maintaining his smile although it seemed a bit forced now, "Have you met my darling little sister Anna?"

"No I don't think so, Anna, I'm Haley." She said extending a hand.

The girl looked her up and down her espresso eyes taking in every aspect of her before shaking her hand.

"It's nice to meet you," Anna said in a whisper as she averted her eyes.

"I hope there isn't anything wrong." Felix said.

"Everything's fine now. My friend OD'd last night, but she's doing pretty good." Haley explained.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Just dropping my sister off." He said shrugging.

"Brooke told him you were in here." Anna explained.

"Oh…"

"Anna, don't you have patients to see?" Felix growled.

Anna rolled her eyes, "I do have to clock in."

"It was nice meeting you too Anna." Haley called after the brunette.

"So can I give you a ride home or is your boy gonna take you?" Felix asked.

"My boy?" Haley didn't understand why guys talked that way.

"The guy with the short blonde hair he's kinda tall on the basketball team but he sucks."

"Lucas? He doesn't suck! He's injured, and he is definitely not my boy." Haley said.

Felix laughed, "C'mon. I'll give you a ride."

"Okay," Haley agreed.

* * *

Peyton felt like her whole world fallen down around her, after being reamed out by Lucas and Nathan she had to listen to her father yell and cry and scream at her and then Karen, Lucas' mom stopped by to yell at her too.

So she sat alone wallowing in her misery, her friends were all long gone her father was having lunch with Karen.

A Latin girl with long hair came into the room.

"Hi, I'm Anna, would you like some fresh water?" she asked.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "That would be nice thanks,"

"So… do you go to Tree Hill High?" Peyton asked.

"Just started."

"I haven't really seen you around, but I haven't exactly been there myself lately." Peyton said.

"Are you sick?" Anna asked.

"Only in the head." Peyton answered.

Anna laughed, "No, really why are you here."

"Guess." Peyton told her.

"Eating disorder?" Anna asked.

Peyton shook her head.

Anna laughed, "I'm joking, did you get in a car accident?"

Peyton was appalled she hadn't really thought of her appearance but now there was a pretty girl in the room, "Do I look that bad?"

"You told me to guess, I was using inductive reasoning."

"You just told me I look thin and beat up, which I am, but there was no need to rub it in." Peyton said.

Anna laughed, "Sorry, do you want some lunch?"

"I'd really love a bath." Peyton said.

"I'll make your water and then I'll help you in." Anna said.


	5. We Fit Together

**Thanks for the reviews it means a lot. Any way first warning of many, Chapter contains heavy petting and some kissing between two males who happen... to be brothers... don't like it skip down to the second POV bar**

Chapter 3

Lucas writhed between Nathan and the brick wall. Never had he imagined, kisses could feel this good. He tried to keep his composure as Nathan nibbled at his ear and along his neck, he couldn't help moaning and threading his fingers in Nathan's dark hair. Nathan's hands were no longer in their respectable place on Lucas's shoulders they moved south feeling the hard tight muscles of Lucas' heaving chest and quivering stomach.

Before Lucas realized it Nathan was working his belt off. Lucas moved away not far only enough so they weren't fused together anymore. He looked in Nathan's eyes and saw stark longing, it was naked and real, and Lucas really wanted to let him simply because he knew he was wearing the same expression.

"We can't Nathan. This isn't the right place and I'm not sure either of us is ready."

"I'm sorry. I've been fantasying about this for so long, and I don't want it to happen up against the rear exit of the hospital." Nathan said.

Lucas blushed, "You've thought about what it would be like if we were together you know together, together."

He had been with girls but having sex with another guy was new to him. And if he we're going to have sex with another guy it would have to be Nathan, anyone else wouldn't do him any justice. Yes, Lucas decided Nathan was the man that was meant to fuck him.

"Yeah, I have thought making love to you Lucas. It got me through sex with Peyton last year. I have everything all planned out and as soon as you're ready we'll go there. I'm talking full on romance and then hardcore full porno style lovin'."

Lucas blushed deeper as the images started hit him. He could just see himself on those black sheets writhing against Nathan's tongue and from there his thoughts got dirtier, he could see Nathan on top of him sliding in filling him fucking him into the mattress. He got chills thinking about it, and he was so hard by this point he couldn't think of anything else but lips hands and well…other appendages.

"Are you thinking about us too?" Nathan said stepping into Lucas's space and grinding against him, which did nothing to quell the swelling in his groin, only adding friction to intensify it.

"Please," Lucas whimpered.

Nathan leaned, and bit Lucas' neck while sliding long fingers right up under Lucas's t-shirt to twist an already taut nipple.

"Me fucking you… filling you …" Nathan whispered still grinding against Lucas and this time Nathan was hard, like a ram rod pressing into him.

And he liked it he moaned eyes falling closed as he did so. He was so sprung. He wanted his brother… God knew he did and maybe he wouldn't hold it against them. Lucas clung to Nathan for dear life as he bucked his hips forward to meet Nathan's. Lucas could only look at him pleadingly begging with his eyes.

He needed this, it seemed that since the day they met in little league at eight, Lucas knew that one day, all that tension he felt when he was around Nathan would be resolved in some way that wasbeautiful, animalistic, and just this side of brutal. Finally, Nathan caught Lucas's lips in a fierce kiss and Lucas didn't think he could last any longer.

Nathan stopped much to Lucas's surprise.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

* * *

Lucas bit his lip and nodded, Nathan had never thought he was prettier, Lucas was quite a pretty boy everyone thought so, especially Nathan. He kissed Lucas's cheek and then he put an arm around his shoulders and led him around the side of the building to his car.

Nathan was finally going to have what he'd waited for so long and nobody was going to ruin it. Not even Dan. He didn't care what he had to suffer as long as he could be with Lucas this way, and to have Lucas love him to feel a fraction of what Nathan felt would make it all worth it.

Nathan was glad things had cooled off enough between them so he could concentrate on driving. But he did NOT like the amount of space separating them. He liked being near Lucas even if it wasn't anything sexual, he needed to hold Lucas and be near him, kiss him, and hug him and… oh yes, taste him.

Lucas took a deep breath; Nathan knew something was on his mind, "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Do you really have feelings for me other than feelings of attraction?"

"Do really have to ask me that?"

"Nathan, if Dan finds out…"

"I could get seriously killed I know. But I like you Lucas, and I think I could love you one day." Nathan admitted.

Lucas blushed and looked at something interesting in his lap.

Nathan turned a corner, and glanced over at Lucas.

"Question is how do you feel about me?"

"I-I-I like you a lot Nathan," he said finally looking up and melting Nathan's heart with his beautiful green eyes.

"Good. So we're finally okay."

"Yeah finally," Lucas said smirking.

* * *

"Finally…" Peyton sighed sitting down in a tub full of hot water. 

"Getting clean both physically and regarding the drugs would be a good thing for you Peyton." A familiar voice said from the doorway.

"Anna." Peyton's head dropped, she was facing the wall and not the doorway so she couldn't see Anna's expression.

"I read your chart; I thought you were better than this Peyton, I thought you we're some one I could get to know. Then I take time to read your chart and I find out you're a druggie. Peyton you almost died, you've got to stop this."

"I don't know what to say about that."

"Say that it's wrong and that there's nothing you can do to make excuses for it the only thing you can do is leave it alone." Anna said walking further into the room, Peyton could hear the white hospital shoes she wore clicking across the linoleum.

"It is wrong but I'm not like that I'm not the kind of girl who would do that. The kind of girl who would let herself get all addicted to drugs. Well, at least I wasn't…" Peyton said.

"Don't think about who you are who you were just think about who you want to be." Anna said.

"That might just work." Peyton said feeling slightly uncomfortable only two people had seen her naked and those people were Brooke and Nathan, and now well Anna was standing right in front of her and kind of staring.

Peyton thought Anna was pretty, but she'd only just met her, the girl could be a freak. Peyton didn't know what to do to get a girl. She didn't know what to do to get a guy, Nathan just came up to after practice and asked her to be his girlfriend and she was scared if she stayed single too long they'd know.

And now she was at the point where she didn't give a damn what they thought. She was going to live. And she was going to do it on her terms. She sat up straight instead of hunching over and trying to cover her breasts.

She smirked, she could see that Anna was enjoying what she saw and pretending she didn't see it.

"Like what you see." Peyton asked, she didn't have much to look in the whole breast arena, but they were pretty perky.

Anna looked then openly and stammered blushing, "…I…need to go."

"Stay," Peyton said, one didn't hang out with Brooke Davis for fourteen years and not learn a thing.

"Will you wash my back?" she asked sweetly.

"Peyton. Are you playing with me?"

"Maybe," she said with a wink.

"Maybe, I don't feel like having another girl break my heart and fuck me over." Anna said stalking out of the room and taking the towel with her.

"Oookay. That didn't work out so well." Peyton said.

* * *

Haley was thoroughly impressed by Felix's car. It was a fire engine red corvette. She kept pushing buttons and talking fast and Felix laughed at her. 

"They swore they wouldn't let me play because I was a girl. But Mouth told me the truth. It was because Brooke and I kicked their asses one night at their precious poker night."

"Poker and tutoring go right together." Felix laughed.

"Kinda like you and me." Haley added.

Felix parked the car, and looked at her, "No, we fit together,"

Haley was transfixed and slightly haunted by the caramel colored depths of his eyes. He leaned and kissed her right on the mouth. He didn't take it much farther than a peck. And she immediately turned her head and looked out the window.

"Um… I guess I'll see you later." Haley said deciding to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Alright Haley take it easy,"

"Oh I certainly intend to."

"The road to hell is paved with honorable intentions." Felix said.

"Were most of them yours?" she said opening the door.

"Bye Haley, I'll see you tomorrow."


	6. Quasimodo

Chapter 4

When Peyton got out of the bath she had a crowd waiting for her. It had been a bitch drying off with that little towel. She noticed Anna first and then her dad and his girlfriend and including her doctor and some lady in a suit that she knew had to be a therapist.

"Ambush." Peyton whispered.

"They are all here because they are concerned about you Peyton." The therapist said.

"If they are all so concerned about me where were they last night? Last week? Last month? I have been falling off the edge of existence and nobody seemed to notice not my dad not my friends, and I don't even know you other three." Peyton said.

Her dad didn't have anything to say, she continued to glare at him.

"Okay. So let's get down to it. Tell me how this is complicating your life. Tell me how stupid this is. I heard it all this morning from my friends." Peyton said.

"Ms. Sawyer I think you should listen to what we have to say. My name is Vivian Grande and I'll be handling your case from here on out."

"I don't care what you have to say, I can't stand having people look at me like this. I want to get clean. But I can't guarantee that I won't go back to it. It's the only thing I have."

"You have all of us, and your friends. Stop this right now Peyton and listen, you could have died." Karen started in.

"I wish I would have died, things would have been so much better." Peyton said sulkily.

Twenty minutes later she was crying as she was put in a cab and taken to a rehabilitation clinic just outside of Charlotte.

* * *

Nathan returned home to find his father waiting in the kitchen. 

"Where have you been?" Dan demanded scaring Nathan half to death.

"Shit. Dad you scared me." Nathan said, "I've been at the hospital, Peyton overdosed, she's doing fine now if you were worried."

"I don't care about that little crack whore ex-girlfriend of yours. I do care that you missed practice and cut class to see her." Dan said.

Nathan tried to continue on his way he was determined not to let Dan ruin his good mood.

"Do you hear me boy, you know what happens when you mess up and miss practice?"

He'd forgotten about punishment practice. It was a three and half hour rigorous workout and if he survived then Dan would really punish him. By the time he finished, Nathan was quite sure he'd sweated out every drop of water in his body; he collapsed on the floor when he was finally allowed back inside the house.

"Get your ass up, face me like a man and take what's coming to you. If you don't I'll tell _him _and that boy has enough sense not to want anything to do with you."

Nathan hauled himself to his feet and stood in front of Dan. Yes, he was going to stand there and let Dan beat him until he was satisfied, and Nathan couldn't stand. Sometimes he would deliberately do something for Dan to just wail on him, he could be such a masochist.

Nathan smiled back cockily at Dan, before he caught a fist to the jaw and he dared not to sway or even show any signs that that first punch hurt. Then there was another to his stomach which made him wince, and take a step back and that's when the blows came. Some striking him on the head on his shoulders until he fell to his knees and curled up in the fetal position. Dan beat and kicked until he was tired and need to get drunk, Nathan lay there in the foyer, bleeding and panting for a few minutes.

* * *

The day passed uneventfully for Lucas after Nathan had dropped him off. He talked on the phone to Brooke who was whining about how Peyton being in the hospital was affecting _her _life. And going on and on about how she was down a best friend, Lucas suggested that they do something together on Saturday just the two of them as friends. Brooke was pleased with the offer and said that they'd go shopping. Lucas was quite afraid of what shopping with Brooke entailed. 

He finished the make up assignment from school read his favorite chapters of his favorite book and he listened to some music before he finally went down to the River Court and played ball with the guys. Finally he ended up back at home gazing out the window listening to his IPod.

It had started to rain; Lucas had always thought the rain was extremely sexy. He always wanted to go out and just get totally drenched in it, have it run down his hair and face just soaking him completely. But he'd never done it; his mother had always told him as kid that he'd get sick. And the opportunity never presented itself again and he didn't want the neighbors to think he was insane.

He stared longingly at the streets, the trees, and the grass which we're getting drenched. When he saw a lone figure stumbling toward his house. In the dim streetlight he could tell it was Nathan. And Lucas was out of the door and into the rain before he realized it, holding Nathan and kissing him.

"Did he do this?" Lucas hissed.

"Who else?" Nathan asked.

"We're gonna tell my mom and Keith they are watching a movie. We're gonna fix this. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore." Lucas pleaded the rain drenching him did not feel sexy anymore.

"That's not gonna stop him." Nathan said.

They were pressed so close together once again, Lucas was gazing in the stormy blue depths of Nathan's eyes. Slowly Lucas began to tenderly kiss all of the bruises on Nathan's face. The rain was becoming sexy again.

Nathan caressed Lucas' back, "He said that if you knew about me you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"Shows how much he knows," Lucas whispered. "I wish you could take me right here. And I wish I could help."

"You can, if you'll let me crash for the night." Nathan said.

"My bed is your bed." Lucas took his hand and led him toward the house.

Lucas was toweling off Nathan's hair off when his mother came barging into the room, "We're gonna watch–Nathan, what happened?"

"He had a fight is all." Lucas said.

"Some of those stupid hicks got at me. I was out numbered."

"I'm gonna get you some ice, and once you get patched up I want you both to come in and watch the movie with us." Karen said.

"I don't like lying to her…" Lucas said.

"I know I'm sorry, I should go." Nathan said.

"Stay, you shouldn't be going back there tonight." Lucas said.

"I'm just gonna mess up things between you and your mom." Nathan said.

"She's cool she won't trip out if she found out about us." Lucas said.

"I don't want you to get into any trouble because of me."

"I won't don't worry," Lucas smiled.

"You're amazing you know that,"

"No you're amazing for putting up with Dan the way you do, I prolly would have killed his ass in his sleep." Lucas said dryly.

"He's my dad. He's all I have."

"You've always got me Nathan. And Keith, and my mom, and Haley, and Brooke, you even have Peyton." Lucas said.

"I know," Nathan said.

"Sometimes I think about leaving this town, and never looking back." Nathan said.

"Me too."

"When do you wanna leave?" Nathan asked only half joking.

"I'll let you know." Lucas smirked.

"I've got the ice and I fixed you both a plate, when you get Nathan all patched up and in dry clothes. What in the hell were you doing out in the rain, you two are gonna catch cold…" Karen ranted, but Lucas didn't really listen he was staring into Nathan's blue eyes.

"Mom, there's something I should probably tell you."

"Uh huh," Karen walked over and began disinfecting one of Nathan's cuts.

"It's about Nathan and I."

"What is it Luke?"

* * *

Nathan couldn't breathe; Lucas was going to tell her. 

"I think he should sleep over tonight." Lucas said.

"Oh that's okay; you'll have to clear it with Dan." Karen said scowling.

"He doesn't care where I go." Nathan said.

"I'm the one who has been saying for years that Dan is an evil black hearted bastard, but I'm sure he'd like to know where you are." Karen said.

"I'll call him." Nathan smiled, knowing full well he wasn't going to call his father but it seemed to be enough to satisfy Karen.

Karen went back to join Keith for the movie, and Nathan and Lucas were coaxed into joining them. It was the most fun Nathan had in a long time. Finally, it was time for bed he was given a pair of Lucas' pajamas and sent into the bathroom to put them on.

When he returned, Lucas was setting up a cot.

"Neither of us is actually going to be sleeping on it, it's just so my mom won't get suspicious about us doing this," Lucas said kissing him.


End file.
